I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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