Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
