yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
