sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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