That's intense
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
