I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize