Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
