Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How external is "for external use only"?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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