Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Bring me that man meat
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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