totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
