Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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