I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
