im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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