My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
