im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
