So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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