hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
