Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We don't watch enough power rangers
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
