I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
