i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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