hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
