Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
