okay pat passed out under dana's car
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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