My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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