I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
