Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
