I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize