all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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