you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
