About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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