Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize