Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
