Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
