I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
