i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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