he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
