my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
