youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
