i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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