Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
