Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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