ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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