Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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