I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
