so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
