What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
