I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
