I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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