Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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