It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
