Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
