Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
