Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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