Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
