I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
soo... how was my night?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
