take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
