I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
