were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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