I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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