Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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