Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
