No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
