Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
