Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Where is the hickey?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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